Gordon Brown has admitted that he could be reaching the end of his long-running adventures after rumours surfaced that a younger actor has been cast to succeed him in the role of Prime Minister.
‘I don’t want to go,’ a tearful Brown told reporters at a hastily-arranged Downing Street press conference. Gesturing at the door to Number 10, recently repainted in blue, he insisted ‘I’ve been knocking around in this old thing for a few years now saving the world here and there. But I’ve had no recognition for it and now they’re lining up some young better-looking unknown in a bow tie to replace me, even though he’s got no experience at all.’
Brown took the lead role in the popular long-running Westminster series in 2007, taking over from the much-loved Tony Blair who had successfully revived the premiership after a seven-year absence from our screens. Despite his charismatic performance, peppered with his trademark gurning, Brown has failed to win over the viewers, many of whom even voted for the evil Daleks at the last European elections.
Jacqui Smith, who played Brown’s sexy young assistant during his first two series before her character was stranded in a parallel universe, defended his performance but admitted that the role does benefit from a change of leading player every few years. ‘We have had clueless, old-fashioned fools like William Hartnell and John Major, and more hard-edged, ruthless killers like Colin Baker and Margaret Thatcher in the role,’ she pondered. ‘And it’s always going to be hard to follow a popular, wild-eyed eccentric like Tom Baker or Tony Blair. So maybe Gordon’s song really is ending, but I should think it’ll be a real tear-jerker.’
Sources suggest that Brown’s final storylines could see a fatal confrontation with his arch-nemesis, The Mandelson, whose insane plot to destroy the Earth and secure the rule of the Time Lords forever could cost the Prime Minister very dearly indeed, even in a snap election.