Britain’s toddlers have been out in force to protest against the construction of a Teletubby community centre and prayer room in the Night Garden.
There were angry scenes as thousands of under-fives gathered to condemn plans to knock down the Night Garden’s bandstand to make way for the new building. ‘It’s an outrage,’ said one nine-month-old protestor. ‘For years the Night Garden has been the site of the agreeable, soporific activities of Iggle Piggle and friends. Why are they being so insensitive to my naptime habits by building this here?’
Senior diplomat Upsy Daisy sought to calm the row. ‘Upsy daisy,’ she told mourners at a service of remembrance for the Hahoos. ‘Upsy daii-see! Upsy daisy.’
But her words fell on deaf ears. ‘Ombliboo, Tombliboo,’ said a four-year-old whose playgroup called off plans to burn Iggle Piggle’s red blanket at the last minute. ‘Our government shouldn’t be giving in like this – they should be supporting our troops who are out fighting terrorists in places like Makka-Pakistan.’