Severe weather grips media

Sunday newspapers across Britain have seen several dozen inches of guff about snow appear overnight, after a moderately heavy snowfall coincided with a dry news front over the UK.

Most national daily papers were completely covered in snow-related content, while a number of television news channels were also affected. The delivery of normal news is likely to be disrupted for several days, while journalists struggle to cope with the deluge of amateurish photos of snowmen sent in by viewers.

‘We haven’t seen this sort of weather since at least the winter of 2010-11,’ said one reporter. ‘If anything, these extraordinary scenes are unprecedented since perhaps as far back as 2009. The eyes of the world are not on Syria or the US Republican primaries any longer, but on these momentous photographs of snow in somebody’s back garden in Dorset.’

The Met Office warned that conditions could get worse in the coming week. ‘We are struggling to cope with the level of media hyperbole about this marginally interesting weather event,’ said a spokesman. ‘Normal broadcasting will be impossible, so we’re advising the public not to stay indoors unless essential, or at least switch off their TV sets and burn newspapers. Not for warmth, just to get a break from all this drivel about snow.’