Massive hippopotamus, teeny little bird hail “essential relationship”

A massive hippopotamus and a teeny tiny little bird have hailed their ‘unique and essential relationship’, during a three-day visit to the hippopotamus’s backside by the bird this week.

In a joint article for the Okavango Delta Post, the two creatures said ‘the world counts on our alliance’.

During the  trip, the two discussed ‘the next phase’ of military action in a deep and murky part of the swamp where a number of hippopotamuses have become increasingly bogged down in recent years, often going completely berserk and causing serious damage to the local wildlife.

Tensions over mindless violence by the king of the macaque monkeys was high on the agenda, as was the persistent threat of a pre-emptive strike by the gazelles against the cheetahs. But despite the worrying agenda, the tiny bird and the lumbering hippo got on famously and reached agreement on political cooperation in a number of areas.

‘I am delighted to announce that I will shortly be heading down towards the hippopotamus’s bottom, where I will hunt for yummy little parasites that I can pick off,’ twittered the little bird. ‘This is just the latest phase in a strong relationship that has lasted for many years. Whenever we have needed a little snack, our friend the hippopotamus has been there for us within a couple of years. And whenever our friend has decided to start roaring angrily at the other animals and whirl his tail around, indiscriminately flinging excrement all over the place, we have been there, faithfully and powerlessly standing by. Long may it continue. Om nom nom.’